


Reading Time

by adelaide_rain



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Bittersweet, Hopeful Ending, Longing, M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4187448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelaide_rain/pseuds/adelaide_rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Hawke teaches Fenris to read, and both of them try to ignore what happened three years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reading Time

Hawke smiles as he steps into Fenris’s room; Fenris ignores the way it makes his heart ache. 

He’s become accustomed to it by now, so he gestures at the chair opposite his own, and Hawke takes it. 

"You're welcome to come to the estate and choose any book you like," he says, offering Fenris a green-bound book. Fenris takes it from him, the leather cover soft under his fingers. He gazes at it a moment, not-so-slowly fitting the gold letters of the title into words.

_The Littlest Mabari._

"But it's always such a delight to see what you come up with." 

"I'll have you know that's one of my favourites. If you prefer, I can bring one of Varric's next time," Hawke says, and Fenris snorts.

"Far too advanced for me."

"You keep using that excuse, Fenris. Varric will see through it any day now and be most upset," Hawke says with a chuckle. He reaches for one of the bottles on the tabletop, and pours both of them a cup of wine. Fenris is perfectly happy drinking from the bottle, but Hawke does _insist_ on being civilised about the strangest things.

Fenris takes a sip and opens the book. He frowns; the writing is smaller than the last one. Lifting a hand to the page, he starts to read, tracing a finger under the words, reading them under his breath. Longer words make him stumble a few times; Hawke catches him, leaning in to find the word and speak it.

And so it goes. This book is more challenging than the last, on purpose, Fenris suspects. Hawke's taken the duty of teaching him to read quite seriously. He's a surprisingly good teacher, with a good mixture of patience and pushing, and he always has time for Fenris.

His finger falters for a moment, and Hawke leans in and reads, "pensively," but Fenris knows what it says. It's the thought, that Hawke always has time for him, despite - despite _everything_ , that makes him pause. He glances up at Hawke, who raises an eyebrow.

"Everything alright?" He asks, and Fenris wants to say _no,_ he wants to talk about what happened between them - or part of him does, but not enough to take the majority. So he nods, thin-lipped, and goes back to his task.

At the end of the first chapter he sits back to take a gulp of wine, and listens as Hawke tells him about a new disaster recently remedied at the Bone Pit, and smiles as for the hundredth time he laments taking a share in it. Fenris knows he doesn't mean it. For all that the place is cursed, it gives his fellow Fereldens a place to work, knowing they'll be looked after. Hawke is a good man. Too good, sometimes.

"Not everyone's problems are yours to fix," Fenris says, softly, and Hawke stops mid-sentence. He cocks his head and gazes at Fenris with eyes that are amber in the firelight.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not talking about the Bone Pit?"

"Partly that. Partly - everything else. You're the Champion of Kirkwall, yet you still run around returning lost property and rescuing kittens stuck in trees."

"Anders would never forgive me if I didn't," Hawke says with an easy smile that irks Fenris. 

"How do you even have time for it? For this?" Fenris says and gestures at the book.

"For you?" The smile drops, and just for a moment the look on Hawke's face makes Fenris's breath catch. Lust, yes, but it's the affection that hurts the most, that he wants the most. Hopeless, tangled, _deep_. Hawke looks away then, and once Fenris is free from his eyes, he realises his heart is racing like he's survived a fight with a dragon. Gazing into the fire, Hawke says quietly, "I'll always have time for you."

Fenris's chest tightens, and in that moment he wants nothing more than to push Hawke down to the bed in the corner of the room and kiss him, suck him, fuck him, share everything he is with him. Wants it so much that his hand moves towards Hawke's arm before he can stop it. Both of them stare at it, at his fingers on Hawke's bicep, and Fenris wants to, he _wants_ to-

But he pulls away. This is too hard. Too painful.

He takes another gulp of wine that tastes bitter on his tongue, before turning his attention back to the book. It takes a moment before his eyes can focus on the words, and when they do, he reads more loudly this time, trying to drown out all of the words left unsaid.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort-of companion piece to [Later, Hawke](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4141161), which is a Hawke POV of their estrangement (and it has a more hopeful ending too).


End file.
